How to Get Your Ex Back: A Complete Guide on How to Win Your Ex Back
No one has ever prepared you for this day. You’re hurt, confused, and emotionally drained.
Your heart feels like it is breaking. And you can’t see how you will go on without the love of your life. Sometimes you might be thinking to yourself; this heartbreak is going to be the death of me! No, it won’t.
You NEED TO BREATHE. It might feel like it’s the end of the world, but guess what, it’s not. This article will help you turn the whole situation around and guide you on how to get your ex back.
See how that made you light up so fast? Seems like all that’s been on your mind is how to get my ex back. But before you read about the best way to get your ex back fast, you need to answer one question.
Do They Still Care?
This article will provide you with step by step tips on how to win your ex back. However, if your ex does not want you back ultimately, then this will be nothing but a waste of your time. So before you get any further into this, you need to ask yourself:
- Does he/she still care about me?
- What were the reasons for the break-up?
- Can you both possibly work through these reasons?
- Is there a possibility he/she will take me back
Think about it. Think about how the break up ensued. Set your emotions aside and think critically. If the answers to these questions are negative, then maybe, what you should be reading on is how to get over a breakup or how to get over someone.
Yes, it sucks, and yes, all you can think of is how to get back with ex. But if that is an impossible mission, then don’t waste your efforts looking for the best way to get your ex back. Remember, you are your topmost priority. You need to do what’s best for you. And if there is absolutely no second chance possible with your ex, what’s best for you is learning how to get over someone like them.
However, if you are positive that he/she still cares for you, here is how to get your ex back fast:
Give Them the Break up They Wanted
No, this isn’t a trick; it’s a real solution. To get your ex back fast, give them the break up they wanted. Here’s why:
Right now, your brain and heart might be compelling you to prove to your ex that you still love them. You want to call them a million times and blow up their phone with text messages of how you miss them. Your instincts are telling you to send them bouquets and gifts, apologizing. You probably think it’s a good idea to get drunk and show up at your ex’s doorstep at 2 AM singing their favorite song. Does this sound like you? This is your broken heart talking, and the results of the above actions will not be in your favor.
All that whining and begging will annoy your ex, make them want to get rid of you even more and solidify that a break up was the best thing to happen to them. All the calling and texting will show your ex just how desperate you are to get back with them.
And that will give your ex the power to manipulate you and walk all over you if you two get back together. Yes, you want the love again, but it’s not worth it if it’s the manipulative kind of love where one person holds and yields all the power.
I’m sure, asking you to give your ex the break up they wanted is a lot to ask for. But it is the best way to get them back. You have to trust the process and know that it will pay off in the long run. But what do we really mean when we say that you give them a break-up?
A Break Up Means: Space
Give your ex the time and space they asked for. Remember her favorite café? Stop going there with the hopes of bumping into her. Get a new favorite restaurant. You don’t have to go to his friend’s party even if you have an invite. And also, if you work in the same building, go about your business and pay no attention to your ex.
Giving your ex space can be very challenging! So, to help you out, create a list of things you have always wanted to get on. Those dancing lessons you have been postponing, sign up for them. All those new dishes you never had the time to explore, now is a perfect time to enjoy them. In short, take this time to focus on yourself, to better yourself, and to fall in love with yourself. This is also an excellent time to catch up with family members or an old friend or your regular buddies. Anything that will get your mind off the “I want my ex back” zone.
A Break Up Means: No Contact
The “no contact” rule when trying to get back with your ex states that you cut off all communication with your ex for a minimum of 4 weeks. And by cutting all correspondence, we mean just that! No communication at all. Don’t even think of stalking them on social media, as this will just escalate your hurt and anger. No calls, no texts, no comments on their photos, only radio silence.
This is probably the hardest thing you will have to do. But every time you are tempted to slip up and break the no contact rule, remember, you must be pricked by thorns to pick a rose. Remember the rainbow comes after a storm. Get yourself a mantra to remind you that the struggle of not contacting your ex will bear fruits eventually.
And as you try your best not to contact your ex, you will find yourself thinking about him or a lot. It is quite okay. However, instead of reminiscing the good times only, think about the bad times. Spend time thinking about the situations that put a strain on your relationship.
Evaluate your performance in the relationship that was. What could you have done better? And what areas do you wish your partner stepped up? As you focus on how to get your ex back, prepare yourself for a new healthy relationship with them by learning from your shortcomings.
A Break Up Does Not Mean Getting Into A New Relationship
When dealing with a breakup, it easy to think of getting on with someone new and show your ex that they lucked out by breaking up. Perhaps that will bring him/her back. Because jealousy is one of the ways to get your ex back, right? Wrong!
This is a recipe for a rebound, which will be a disaster and which will not get your ex back.
Yes, it is very healthy to go out and meet new people when going through a break-up. But keep these new relationships in the friend zone. Keep it casual and be upfront that you are not looking for a relationship, but a good time, especially if you still have strong feelings for your ex. Don’t add another heartbreak to your already aching heart.
A Break Up Does Not Mean: Posting Your Hurt On Social Media
It may sound petty, but it is what most heartbroken people do. You get on social media and tell the whole world how much you’re hurting. Every single day you post about how miserable you are. And if these posts do not get your ex to give you the attention you want, it escalates to insults towards your ex. Remember, we talked about not being desperate. Well, when you jump on this train of posting, desperation is all it spells out.
Take a break from social media if negativity and hurt are all you want to post up there. And if you get to the point where you are spending time with friends, living your best life, loving yourself and meeting new people, document it and post it up. Focus on the latest positive memories and milestones you are making.
And that’s it. That’s how you will get your ex back by focusing on yourself. In case you still haven’t seen the play, here’s the breakdown:
- Your ex wanted a break-up. Giving them the time and space they wanted shows them you love them enough to give them what they want, even if it hurts.
- Cutting off communication with your ex allows both of you to grieve and evaluate the relationship you had. And maybe, just maybe, your ex will start to wonder if a break up was the solution.
- As you are making new friends, having the time of your life, and documenting the moments on social media, one way or another, information about you will get back to your ex. And when it does, it’s up to them to decide whether to reach out or not.
Chances are your ex will reach out to you. Because as humans, we will always want what looks unattainable. This new, transformed version of yourself will have your ex wondering if you are the same person they once knew. Your disinterest will further pick this curiosity in them.
It will all begin with a simple text or phone call to check up on you. But don’t be swayed back that easily. Don’t just go running back. Evaluate them. Question if you want to get back with them. Were they the love of your life? Was the break up just a hitch on what could be long term between you two, or was it the end of what you two had.
If the break up was just a hitch, then you can slowly rebuild the relationship you had. And you can finally say you know the answer to how to get your ex back. If the break up was the end, then be happy for yourself. Be proud of the healing your broken heart has achieved so far. And find new love when you are ready
Originally published at: https://gregorybehrendt.com/
